You may have noticed that I’ve been away from classes, social media and sending newsletters. My father passed away on October 29th, and it was devastating. I’ve experienced multiple significant losses over the past few years, so this piled onto other grief that I haven’t even worked through yet. I had to shut myself away from the outside world and just allow myself to be with my feelings.

I know that must sound odd to some people. We live in a society that tells us to push through our feelings and get “over” loss quickly. Sure, I couldn’t just lie in bed and cry all day, every day. I had to go back to work, tend to my family, pay bills, do some laundry.

But while I did the things I “had” to do, I made sure to allow myself grace in other areas. I allowed myself to cry whenever and wherever I needed. I put aside nonessential chores. I answered honestly when people asked me how I was doing. I didn't pretend to be happy. I Door Dashed just about every supper for 2 weeks (thanks to a generous gift from my coworkers). And I put aside social media because trying to be creative with posting was impossible.

When most people think of self-care, they think of things like bubble baths, massages, curling up under a blanket with a good book, practicing yoga, and meditating.

However, sometimes self-care is allowing yourself to ugly cry, sleep all day, skip showers, eat a ton of fast food, let the house be messy, cry while looking at pictures, and not practice any sort of yoga or meditation or movement because your grief is so heavy.

There eventually comes a time when I feel ready to get back into the swing of things. That’s where I’m at now. Sometimes grief can linger and turn into depression or prolonged grief disorder (if that’s you, send me a message so I can provide resources). I keep an eye out for those symptoms – being a therapist is a huge pro in this aspect.

And so, I bring you not a “new and improved” Renee, but a “tired and trying” Renee. A grieving Renee moving a little more forward each day, with yet another angel by her side.